Elevenses

I try to write down things

I hear when I walk around.

Did you know you can have

A heart-attack from shoveling snow?

There is a punk version of Hamlet.

Karaoke comes from two words

In Japanese, the first meaning empty,

The second meaning orchestra.

Elephants have four knees.

The average male eats about

Thirty-five thousand cookies.

Whiskey is not the same as whisky,

And only the Scots know the difference.

Also, 4% of barreled whiskey evaporates

Before it is bottled and taxed more

Than an average American is taxed.

My neighbor eats cookies with whiskey.

I have never seen an elephant,

But I have seen Hamlet.

I keep my singing in the shower.

I shovel snow.

I avoid cookies.