Four Years Later: Marriage

People often ask me where I would like to get married, but they rarely ask if i would get married. and the answer is: I highly doubt it. I believe that marriage has become corrupted. Originally, it was a symbol of love between a man and a woman. It showed that they were together and their marriage bonded and unified their coupling. (2010)

I can't remember ever being asked about marriage, so I'm not entirely sure where I got the initial idea for that first statement. The truth, however, still stands that I currently do not like the idea or the concept of marriage. I still feel like marriage is a load of crap, and it sometimes irks me even more than it used to. Maybe I'm just getting older and grumpy. Who knows? (2014)

Nowadays, however, divorce is so common, that I have trouble finding reason why anyone would even want to get married in the first place. It's expensive, stressful, and if you divorce, it was all for naught. (2010)

Divorce is still pretty common. Half of the people I know come from broken households, and were either raised by one parent or the other, or they had to shift back-and-forth between the two camps. By biggest stresses in this event, as of late, however, is not the intrinsic pointlessness of the whole concept and ideal of marriage, but instead the effect that divorce has on children related to it. My sister is currently in the process of separating from her husband. She has her reasons for doing so, and while I will always support my sister, that doesn't mean that I always think that she is right. When I visit with her, I see the way her children act, and I know it can't be easy on them (this is my five-year-old neice and not-a-year-old nephew I'm talking about here, btw). My nephew, in particular, is too young to really be affected, but my neice is, and it makes me want to cry. I think that my brother-in-law is a good guy, and he makes a great father. I really think that he and my sister should not have gotten married, however. (2014)

Now gay marriage is causing loads of headaches for everyone. I want to make it perfectly clear that, although I do not support marriage, I do support equal rights for everyone, and that includes the right for homosexual couples to wed. Would I get married myself? Doubt it. But I have no problem with other people getting married. (2010)

Gay marriage has become legal in tons of states, and this is monumentally awesome, but there's still a long way to go before we actually see marriage equality in America. I still support equal rights, and I have even joined the Human Rights Campaign as a donating member/activist, just to help the cause. (2014)

I recognize that not everyone feels this way, and I assume that if I ever manage to have a guy fall head-over-heels in love with me, that he will eventually ask me to marry him. I will never ask, first off, because I don't believe that I would need the symbolic representation of love that is marriage, as long as the love is there. If the love represents itself, why use the marriage to represent it? (2010)

I have had a guy fall in love with me. We met a little over two years ago at a Christmas party, and got to chatting. Chatting became seeing each other, and then we started dating, and then we were just in love. Like me, he didn't really believe in marriage. He liked the idea of the symbolism of it all, though, and we discussed the idea of a hand-fasting ceremony. I was all for that idea, and eventually he even gave me a promise ring to wear. That was when things started getting weird for me, because I found out that while I was studying abroad, he had cheated on me. He confessed, but somehow, that cheapened the symbolic relevance of the ring. Still, it felt comfortable, and I wasn't the type to hold a grudge, so I forgave him. Eventually, we moved in together, and enjoyed a great summer together as a couple, but then things started to shift away, and we fell apart. Today, I am alone, and quite lonely, but I've also realized now that I know I've truly been in love, I would definitely marry for it. It doesn't make any logical sense to me why I would, but if the right partner asked, I would probably say yes. (2014)

If I love this entirely hypothetical guy back, then I will probably say yes, because if I love him, I will do things to make him happy. I don't think it would hurt to get married, I just don't really see the point. (2010)

Like I just said above, I don't really know why I would get married, but I do know, now, that I wouldn't be doing it just for him. A marriage--and indeed any relationship--cannot work if there is only one side trying to make the other side happy. Relationships are about relating with one-another, and connecting on a deep level. Or something. God that sounded cheesy... (2014)

Part of this explanation may be helpful if I include the fact that I am incredibly pessimistic about the existence of a guy that will love me. I know I haven't been at the game for too long, but I love easily. I don't hold back...ya know what? Love is a whole 'nother post on it's own. Long story short, I doubt I will ever find a guy that will love me. Therefore, no marriage. Problem solved. (2010)

Still a cynic, to this day, but I have definitely been proven wrong. I know that he loves me too, but we're both afraid of our feelings. I feel confident that we can work through our fears, though. So perhaps I'm not so much of a pessimist as I am disappointed with my past conditions. I associate my expectations for the future with the experience of my past and that keeps me from moving forward. I need to stop that. Stop! Bad, Walter! Move on, get a life, stop repressing, and get shit done. Anyway, that's that. Conclusion: Maybe marriage. Problem solved? Definitely not, but closer to a solution? Maybe. (2014)